One year

Yesterday, I found myself irrationally anxious to let my children go to school. I gave Lori extra hugs and kisses before she got on the bus, smelled her hair, took every part of her appearance in. I attempted to give Hunter huge hugs before I left for work, but a 4 1/2 year old boy wasn't having it. I had a pit in my stomach, scared to go to work. With the anniversary of the Newtown massacre looming, I was worried that this time it could be in my community or my workplace.

Today, I found myself trying to enjoy my kids on a snowy Saturday, but have been breaking into tears. For all of these moments that I have had with my kids over the past 365 days, there are 26 families who have missed out. Birthdays, weddings, holidays, ordinary moments. Moments lost because of a madman. 

My tears quickly turned to anger. Anger that people who make money off of selling weapons have any say over the right of people to be safe in their schools. Anger that while huge attention is directed to this horrible tragedy (rightfully so), children live in urban areas where there are multiple killings on a daily basis, with no voice speaking for them. Anger that multiple educators, school psychologists, and administrators can sit at a table and suggest that a child needs counseling or services, and parents can refuse because they are in denial.

Anger that at a school in Colorado yesterday, a kid who was upset with a teacher decided that the solution was to bring a gun to school. 

Enough is enough. Something needs to change, and it needs to happen soon. 

What happened to the crafts?

When the kids were smaller, I spent lots of time on websites finding things to keep them busy and engaged, especially on the weekends when Scott worked. Now that they entertain themselves so well, and I can actually do my own stuff when they are up and around, I've become such a slacker.

The kind of thing I used to do with them:



Now, I throw some paper, scissors, and glue out and say, "make a collage!"

I used to also be really into doing a million fun things for each holiday. We couldn't just make one turkey for Thanksgiving. We had to make a handprint turkey, turkey cookies, and I would print off a million different Thanksgiving coloring sheets.



Part of me feels like I am depriving my kids, and then I realize that they are occupying themselves fairly well,  (without hours on end of screen time or computer time), so I should probably stop feeling guilty. Now that they are in school every day (Hunter only in the pm), I like that they can have unstructured time. They aren't involved in a million activities, and they enjoy the downtime.

So I'm going to stop feeling guilty about my lack of craftiness, and perhaps start feeling guilty about never finishing H's baby book.

Being on stage again

When I was in kindergarten, our school put on a musicial (Pinnochio). For some reason, we got to watch the auditions, and as I saw the older girls trying out for the role of the Blue Fairy, I knew I could be up there. I walked up to Mrs. Piola, my teacher, and said, "I can do that." So she brought me up, spoke with the teacher in charge, and I was allowed to audition.

I got the part. And the bug took hold.

I was in various productions during school all through elementary, middle school, high school and college, but once I started teaching, I didn't have time to be a performer. All of my energy went towards teaching, music directing productions, grad school, and then parenting. After watching my friend get back up on stage after many years, I knew I wanted to do it, too.

The one problem was, how to find a production that fit into our crazy schedule. I work part-time in the afternoons, and then when I get home, my husband goes to work. In June, I saw an ad for auditions for the Connecticut Gilbert and Sullivan Society's production of "Yeoman of the Guard." They rehearse on Sunday nights---the one night of the week Scott never has to work, and some Tuesdays, which we could swing. Problem is, I saw it precisely 3 days before the auditions, which left me little time to prepare. But I scraped a song from my senior recital together, and auditioned. I was thrilled to be cast as the understudy to Phoebe, and in the chorus.

My friend Noelle (understudy for Elsie) and I thought this sign was hiliarious. Especially because we were cracking jokes backstage, not concentrating. 

Although I never got to perform the role of Phoebe for an audience, I had plenty of opportunities to peform it for the cast in rehearsals, and received great feedback from cast, crew, and the director. I was even more excited when the music director offerred me an opportunity to sing one of the arias with the orchestra at one of our dress rehearsals. Best of all, my daughter got to be a part of the townspeople scenes, and I had a great time with a WONDERFUL group of people.

Can't wait until next year (and neither can Lori!)

Me in my "drapes" (I swear the costume fabric were drapes in a former life) and Lori readdy to perform!

I'm just one of those people

The first time Lori slept away from home she was 6 weeks old. I cried almost the entire time, and woke up early to pick her up, but I got through it. Since then, she and Hunter have both slept over my parent's, my in-law's, and other aunts' and cousins' houses.  I love that they are independent enough and comfortable enough that it is never anxiety promoting. In fact, when I drop them off, the reaction I usually get is, "okay, Mom, see you, bye." It is also a great way for them to connect with other family members, and get some special treatment. 

Bonus: I get a lovely break from my mostly fabulous but at times annoying children. I'm just one of those people who needs a break from my kids every once in awhile. 

This weekend was a special treat. Hunter slept at my mom's alone, and Lori stayed with  me. 6 year olds are especially delightful when they don't have a 4 year old around to annoy them. We ran errands, went for a long walk, collected leaves, read books, and she played by herself for hours without needing me to do a single thing. It was blissful. It was easy. It was so great to have a night where she was the sole focus of attention. 

Bonus: Scott and I got through dinner and a breakfast out with friends without having our conversation interrupted with, "Mommy.Mommy.Mommy.Mommy." 

I really love my boy, but man was it nice to have the break from his incessant chatter. 

I know, I'm horrible for saying that. But I know I will enjoy him much more tomorrow after having some time apart. 

Making myself "useless"

I wrote a grant last year with a colleague to purchase several ipads for my students to use--we had 2 already, and saw great potential for how students could use them in small group settings. I was very excited to win the grant, and have been working on implementing them in different ways.

What I found so far is that many of the "mundane" parts of my lessons could be done in a much more engaging way using the iPads. For example, when presenting and practicing rhythms, I often use flashcards with the entire class. As you can imagine, it is necessary, but gets boring. Here is what I tried:

• Downloaded the Bitsboard app and then created flashcards by taking pictures of them, and creating "sets" of the various rhythms I use
• When you import the picture, you also have the option to record audio to go with it. I chanted the rhythm for each pattern, and then adjusted the settings so that students can only hear the audio when they tap the screen, not when they swipe the card
• Put the kids into groups of 4 using the Teamshake app--you can assign kids "levels" and many other factors, so that when you "shake" to create the groups, it mixes them up so that multiple ability levels are in each group. Amazingly, they never complain about the groups because the iPad picks them, not me!
• I structured this in a few different ways. Sometimes I split the class in 1/2--1/2 worked on Bitsboard while 1/2 were with me working on something else and then they switched. I liked having a small group to work with--I never get that opportunity in my general music classes. The kids working the iPads were really engaged. Other times, I have them all practicing on the iPads.

What I have noticed so far is that when I have them working like this, I am "useless." I structure the task, but because of the audio embedded in the app, the questions are automatically answered for them. They can also choose whether to try and clap/say the pattern first before they listen, or if they are stuck, they listen first. It has really empowered them, and they are definitely way more engaged. Because they are in cooperative groups, they assess each other and correct each other when needed. 

It was really liberating for me not to be "on" the entire time I was teaching. The only thing I haven't figured out is that by having them work this way, it makes it more difficult for me to informally assess how they are doing. I did notice that student performances of their rhythm compositions were better than usual. That could just be the group of kids, so I'm anxious to see how it works for my other 2 batches of students this year. 

The L-word

As a mom, I have dealt with many disgusting things in the past 6 years. But never in the world did I envision encountering what I just dealt with in my house.

LICE.

Just typing it there skeeves me out. When one of Lori's classmates had it during the school year, and we got the letter home from the nurse, I went into emergency response mode. I promptly washed her jacket and hoodies, washed her hair with tea tree oil (which is supposed to be a deterrent), checked her hair daily, and happily never found anything.

We had been happily enjoying our summer, and then, I noticed that Lori was itching her head. (Relax--this was MANY weeks ago)I figured it was dry scalp--lots of time in the pool, being out in the sun, etc. The blood-sucking disgusting bugs were not ANYWHERE on my radar. How in the world would she get lice in the middle of the summer? I checked her head, and noticed some sand from the sandbox but that was about it. 

Then one day, I saw something crawling in her hair. And red marks on the nape of her neck. My husband took out a flashlight and a fine tooth comb, and we saw the nits. (Again, many weeks ago, but just writing now.)

Immediately, all the different ways any of the family members could have caught it were popping into my head--she had been climbing in bed to snuggle with me in the mornings; she and Hunter regularly make forts with the living room pillows and blankets; the comb the kids share; the dress up clothes.... the list goes on. 

24 hours of washing anything her head may have touched and 2 Nix treatments later (which is a GIANT pain in the ass when you have a girl with a full head of hair, by the way), and it was contained to just Lori.

But in the meantime, I will be scratching my head and making my husband check me every 5 minutes.

This was weeks ago--those creepy crawlies are over and done with, so no one around is in danger of getting it anymore. And we still don't know how she got it.

CSA update!

I'm now 1/2 way through the season of my CSA, and I love it! I still kept my garden, because I wasn't really sure what I would be getting and if I would like it, and I think that next year I will definitely plant way less veggies, and add some more things that won't take up freezer space, like garlic. I would also like to plant more blueberry bushes and strawberry plants, because I can never have too much of either of those!

I have been freezing things like crazy--Scott and I chopped up and blanched kale for caldo verde (kale soup) and zucchini in the past week. I also shredded a TON of zucchini to use in the fall for baking. Last week, I made these yummy sugar snap peas:



You know a recipe is great when your 6 year old gobbles it up!

I also made this over the weekend using zucchini, tomatoes, and corn:



AH-MA-ZING!!!!! So yummy as as side dish, a topping for fajita steaks, and I used it as
filling for veggie tacos with some guacamole on top. Delish.

I also made a kale pizza that was basically my own recipe--spread a little oil on the pizza dough (store-bought), spread my homemade garlic scape/basil pesto on it, threw kale and some tomato on top, and then sprinkled parm and mozzarella cheese on top. So tasty--my 4 year old kale lover devoured it.

We have been getting lots of scallions from the farm, so I have just been chopping them up finely, and putting them right in the freezer. I won't need to buy frozen onions all fall with the amount we've been getting. I used them in rice the other day, and I like the mild flavor of them. I would bet that they would be great in fresh salsa when I get some more tomatoes!

I just looked at the newsletter for what we are getting next week, and excited for our 2nd week of yummy, just picked corn, our first batch of cukes and carrots, and peaches and nectarines, among other things. I'm so happy with the variety of things that they have been offering.