Gratitude

I constantly work at making sure that I have gratitude. Sometimes it is external--being sure I thank people I work with, thanking my kids for doing little things, thanking my husband when he makes dinner. Sometimes it is more of an internal or spiritual thing. On the rare occasion that I can walk alone, I always take a minute to appreciate the amazing view around the first corner of my walk. Taking a minute to appreciate the beautiful view, the buds on the trees that mean great weather will be coming soon, being thankful that I get a few minute of quiet in my busy life.

As a teacher and a parent, there is nothing better than seeing a child have gratitude. I have always said that I teach kids, I just do it through music. I want my students to show gratitude and be appreciative, especially because they are very lucky to live in the town they do, where they have so many opportunities. I take the time to make sure that I thank the accompanists, clinicians, and give props to other teachers, kids, administrators, etc, when I appreciate what they do. It is my hope that some of that rubs off on them.

I do the same thing at home, and it has been wonderful to see my kids show their gratitude. I have to still remind them to say "please" and "thank you" constantly, but they have these little glimmers of honest, pure gratitude that blow me away. Those moments remind me of my most important job of shaping these little ones into becoming great humans. My son, age 4, out of the blue thanked me for  his birthday party yesterday. He didn't see all of the planning and thoughts that went into it, but he realized even at his young age that it took work to do it, and took a moment to make sure that I knew he appreciated it. Moments like those make me feel like I'm the best mom in the world.

My favorite kid.

You aren't supposed to have favorite kids. But I do. Here is the thing, it changes all the time.

Lori was my favorite for quite a long time. Especially when Hunter was in the miserable, daily tantrum throwing, impulsive terrible 2 stage. Then Hunter became my favorite. As his language skills developed more, he really started to show his sweet side. He is super caring. Lori started being bratty and overdramatic and was going back to ridiculous tantrums. So he was the favorite.

As quickly as it happened, Hunter began getting moody and overemotional, and Lori was back to being the favorite. I've been sick all weekend, and Lori has been really sweet and helpful. Hunter has been pushing buttons.

Then at dinner today, Hunter looked at me and said, "Mommy, if you're sick, I'll take care of you." Back to being the favorite. Hope he remembers that before he puts me in "the home" someday.

Crash week--or when my kids LOSE their minds.

We have a pretty good routine going at our house--my husband works mostly in the evenings and weekends, and I work part-time teaching music. It means that I am always in charge of dinner and bedtimes, and we tag team the morning stuff. The kids have only known life this way. It works really well, except for when it is crash week for my show at school.

If you have never been part of a musical production, here is the way that crash week goes--HOURS of extra time spent running the show through, plus time getting makeup, costumes, mics, etc. For me, it means that on Monday, I got home at 6pm. Yesterday and tomorrow, I stay through until 8pm--which means I only see my kids for a brief time in the morning. They get to sleep over my mom's on Friday (which they love, but means ugliness when I get them back), and then I have 2 more shows on Saturday and will only see them for a little bit that day.

The routine is off. And the natives are unhappy.

This week has been filled with tantrum after tantrum, which is unusual for my kids at this stage of the game--almost 6, and 4. Lori threw a 15 minute tantrum before school yesterday because I wouldn't help her practice violin after she spent 10 minutes fooling around and not playing. Hunter had a 15 minute tantrum today because he wanted milk and not water (and we didn't have any milk left).

I get that they miss me and their structure.  I  miss our routine and structure. But I hate when the short time that I get to see them is filled with crying and whining. I want to give them extra hugs and kisses and snuggle because I won't get to at bedtime.

There is always next week, I suppose.