One year

Yesterday, I found myself irrationally anxious to let my children go to school. I gave Lori extra hugs and kisses before she got on the bus, smelled her hair, took every part of her appearance in. I attempted to give Hunter huge hugs before I left for work, but a 4 1/2 year old boy wasn't having it. I had a pit in my stomach, scared to go to work. With the anniversary of the Newtown massacre looming, I was worried that this time it could be in my community or my workplace.

Today, I found myself trying to enjoy my kids on a snowy Saturday, but have been breaking into tears. For all of these moments that I have had with my kids over the past 365 days, there are 26 families who have missed out. Birthdays, weddings, holidays, ordinary moments. Moments lost because of a madman. 

My tears quickly turned to anger. Anger that people who make money off of selling weapons have any say over the right of people to be safe in their schools. Anger that while huge attention is directed to this horrible tragedy (rightfully so), children live in urban areas where there are multiple killings on a daily basis, with no voice speaking for them. Anger that multiple educators, school psychologists, and administrators can sit at a table and suggest that a child needs counseling or services, and parents can refuse because they are in denial.

Anger that at a school in Colorado yesterday, a kid who was upset with a teacher decided that the solution was to bring a gun to school. 

Enough is enough. Something needs to change, and it needs to happen soon.